Linked List: January 25, 2016

Monday, 25 January 2016

Disney World Opens New Ordeal Kingdom for Family Meltdowns 

The Onion:

Situated between Epcot and the Magic Kingdom, the 350-acre property reportedly incorporates many of the most aggravating elements of Disney’s other parks and expands them into a creative and fully immersive world of irritation, which is said to include the longest lines in the entire resort, a convoluted layout that is only depicted in indecipherable cartoon maps that are not to scale, and 150 percent higher prices. According to park director Jacob Bartlett, Ordeal Kingdom’s specialized combination of features will ensure a slowly building resentment among visiting families, eventually resulting in a dramatic public outburst followed by a silent walk back to the car.

“We’ve considered every detail to ensure parents and their kids have the heated argument of a lifetime,” said Bartlett, explaining that the park was split into five themed “lands,” including Fatigue Island and Hunger Lagoon, each of which can be reached by Mickey’s Congestion Junction Railway. “Whether it’s the sheer distance between rides or the unspecified bathroom locations, every aspect of the experience is guaranteed to ratchet up the tension until you and your family are screaming at each other and saying you should never have come in the first place.”

DF RSS Feed Sponsorship Openings 

The RSS feed calendar has been sold out for months, but the next few weeks, including the current one, are open. If you’ve got a cool product or service you want to promote to the DF audience, get in touch and let’s make a deal.

Texas Grand Jury Clears Planned Parenthood, Indicts Pair Who Made Video 

Brian M. Rosenthal and Brian Rogers, reporting for the Houston Chronicle:

A Harris County grand jury investigating allegations that a Planned Parenthood clinic in Houston illegally sold the tissue of aborted fetuses has cleared the organization of wrongdoing and instead indicted two anti-abortion activists behind the undercover videos that sparked the probe.

Secret videographers David Daleiden and Sandra Merritt were both indicted on charges of tampering with a governmental record, a second degree felony that carries a punishment of up to 20 years in prison. Daleiden received an additional misdemeanor indictment under the law prohibiting the purchase and sale of human organs.

I’m celebrating this schadenfreude-tastic moment with a contribution to Planned Parenthood.

Microsoft’s Surface Tablets Takes a Hit During NFL Playoff Game 

Steven Musil, CNet:

Microsoft’s tablet seemed to suffer another public black eye Sunday as TV viewers of the AFC championship game Sunday between the Denver Broncos and New England Patriots were told that the tablets on the Patriots’ sidelines had failed.

“They’re having some trouble with their Microsoft Surface tablets,” CBS’ sideline reporter Evan Washburn reported during the game. “On the last defensive possession the Patriots’ coaches did not have access to those tablets to show pictures to their players. NFL officials have been working at it. Some of those tablets are back in use, but not all of them. A lot of frustration that they didn’t have them on that last possession.”

The outage, which struck during the first half, was brief, and the Patriots’ tablets were soon restored to working order. A Microsoft spokesman blamed the problem on a network connectivity issue rather than a tablet malfunction.

No tablet is going to work if the network is down, but this shows the risks of paid product placement in a live arena.

AnandTech Reviews the Google Pixel C 

Brandon Chester and Joshua Ho, writing for AnandTech:

The pinch to zoom implementation on Android has always been quite poor, with the zooming not tracking well with the user’s actual pinching motion. In this case, the problem is also that the zoom animation just has an incredibly low frame rate at times, to the point where it’s like watching a slide show. It’s honestly shocking to see these issues on a device designed by Google running software designed by Google.

Tell us what you really think.