David Marchese has a terrific interview with David Letterman for New York Magazine:
Was it hard to adjust to civilian life?
It’s still hard. I have trouble operating the phone. That’s the
God’s truth. I needed a pair of shoelaces. And I thought, Hell,
where do you get shoelaces? And my friend said, there’s a place
over off I-84, it’s the Designer Shoe Warehouse. So I go over
there, and it’s a building the size of the Pentagon. It’s
enormous. If you took somebody from — I don’t know, pick a
country where they don’t have Designer Shoe Warehouses —
blindfolded them and turned them loose in this place, they would
just think, You people are insane. Who needs this many shoes? It’s
sinful. It’s one of these places where there’s no employees and
every now and then there’s just a scrum of shoe boxes. I’m not
finding the damn shoelaces, and finally I think, Maybe it’s one of
those items they’ve got at the counter. I go up there and I’m
nosing around the counter and, by God, there’s shoelaces. This is
after about an hour. So now I’m waiting in line and the woman
checking people out says in a big loud voice, “May I help our next
shoe lover, please?” I just started to tremble. Nobody else seems
to have a problem with going to a store! You don’t want to have
painted yourself into some elite position where it’s “Bob, go out
and get me some shoelaces.” It makes you feel stupid. Here’s where
I’m comfortable: There’s a bait-and-tackle store near my house.
They’ve got guys in there, and you can buy live bait, you can buy
artificial bait, they’ll put new line on your reel. You can talk
to them about rods. They’ll tell you where to go for a largemouth
bass. That’s exactly where I want to be.
We need Dave to come back.