When ‘FAQ’ Stands for ‘Fucking Angry Questions’

From Humane’s “AI Pin Consumers FAQ”, which they link to with one of the best euphemisms of the year thus far — “We understand this transition may be difficult, and you may have questions”:

Key Dates to Remember:

  • Effective immediately: Ai Pin is no longer available for new purchases.
  • February 28, 2025 at 12pm PST: Ai Pin devices will no longer connect to Humane’s servers, and .Center access will be fully retired.
  • February 28, 2025 at 12pm PST: All customer data, including personal identifiable information (PII), will be permanently deleted from Humane’s servers.

This was a $700 purchase (for the matte black base model — polished metal ones were $800) with a mandatory $24/month service charge (which included cellular networking) and extra battery “boosters” were $70. Customers who bought when it launched last April have spent at least $1,000, but probably more, all told. Humane gave them 10 days notice before the thing turns into a brick.

Will I receive a refund for my Ai Pin?

Refunds are only available for customers who are still within the 90-day return window from their original shipment date. You are eligible to receive a refund if your product shipped on or after November 15th, 2024. All device shipments prior to November 15th, 2024 are not eligible for refunds. All refunds must be submitted by February 27th, 2025.

Translation: tough shit.

Will my Ai Pin work with another cellular provider after the shutdown?

No. Once the service is discontinued, your Ai Pin will no longer function as a cellular device or connect to Humane’s servers. This means no calls, texts, or data usage will be possible. [...]

Can I still use my Ai Pin for offline features?

Yes. After February 28, 2025, Ai Pin will still allow for offline features like battery level, etc., but will not include any function that requires cloud connectivity like voice interactions, AI responses, and .Center access.

You can check the battery of a device that no longer offers any useful functionality. I get it, companies go bust, and when they go bust, their services go bust with them. But this is exactly the sort of outcome that made Humane’s AI Pin seem more like a scam than a product all along.

★ Wednesday, 19 February 2025