David Zaslav Set to Receive Up to $887 Million if Paramount Acquisition of Warner Bros Closes

Jake Conley, reporting for Yahoo Finance:

If the deal closes, Zaslav will receive $517.2 million in equity that would trigger if and when the sale goes through, along with roughly $34.2 million in cash and $44.2 million in benefits tied to the value of health coverage reimbursement. The Warner Bros. CEO will also get roughly $335.4 million in tax reimbursements. **

Just before the end of February, Warner Bros. agreed to a full acquisition by Paramount Skydance at $31 per share in a deal valued at about $110 billion.

The cash and equity are outrageous enough, but what in the everlasting fuck is “$44.2 million in benefits tied to the value of health coverage reimbursement”? They might as well pay Zaslav an extra $40 million for reticulating splines while they’re at it.

[Update: Variety reports that Zaslav is getting $44,195 in “continued health coverage reimbursement benefits”, which suggests that Conley at Yahoo incorrectly assumed a couple of extra zeroes on the health coverage number. Which would be a reasonable mistake to make — who but a total asshole would give a shit about $44,000 in insurance benefits as part of a $550 million heist? Assuming that was a mistake, Conley’s error wasn’t assuming the extra zeroes, it was forgetting that Zaslav is, quite obviously, a total asshole.]

“Hayden”, on Twitter/X:

The man redesigned the HBO logo five times, the company lost 50% of its value, and he made $887 million. We might be looking at the greatest businessman to ever exist.

The greatest something, for sure. I wouldn’t use the word “businessman”.

★ Wednesday, 18 March 2026