Google’s ‘Material 3’ Design Write-Up Is 93.3 Percent Embarrassing

This page from Google Design on their “Material 3” UI language came to my attention after my snarky post about the ungainly new to-do app they bizarrely bragged about on Twitter/X this week. I don’t think this “Material 3” page is new — I think it’s a few years old — but I’d never seen it before.

First, it’s crazy that (in desktop browsers with a mouse cursor) they change the I-beam cursor for text selection to ... a circle. I guess it looks kind of fun but the whole point of the I-beam cursor is to enable precise character selection. They changed that to something that makes precise selection as difficult as possible. It’d be better to just an arrow pointer than a goddamn circle. This, from the UI design team.

Second, this paragraph made me honestly wonder if I was reading a spoof, a years-old unfunny April Fool’s “prank”. But as far as I can tell this is totally straight, not a prank:

These factors can be quantified in users’ responses to new M3 Expressive designs. We found a 32% increase in subculture perception, which indicates that expressive design makes a brand feel more relevant and “in-the-know.” We also saw a 34% boost in modernity, making a brand feel fresh and forward-thinking. On top of that, there was a 30% jump in rebelliousness, suggesting that expressive design positions a brand as bold, innovative, and willing to break from convention.

Nothing says rebellious and “in-the-know” like assigning precise percentages to “rebelliousness”, “modernity”, and “subculture perception”.

★ Friday, 14 August 2026